I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize