I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
