Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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