I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Did I show you my penis last night?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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