too bad you live with your parents still
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
