hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
