K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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