your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize