too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
