Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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