It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
