idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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