hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
