chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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