About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
