Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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