If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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