Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
