You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize