I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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