What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
