When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
