I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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