need another drink. this is the easiest way
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
