Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
