if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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