I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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