office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
