I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if only i could text you this smell
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
