the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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