I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
