This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
