Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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