im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize