Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
