I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
