Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Floor bacon is actually really good
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize