i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
