OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
