dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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