did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
