if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
