Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
