Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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