Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
did you just send me my own nude
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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