You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Who died my cat blue again?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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