can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
