Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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