There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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