marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
