Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
