Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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