Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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