u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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