wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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