I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
