Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
