Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
