Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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