yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
